Birthday Dinner

So, it was my friend Donielle's birthday (We work together). I was invited to go out to dinner and then to hang out afterward. The whole time, I promised I would go to dinner, and then I was planning on bowing out gracefully from the post-dinner hang out.

Pre-Dinner:

I was at my townhouse in the suburbs getting ready. I wore, what I thought to be, a fun, black dress. It was from banana republic, and I thought it would be perfect. I put a coral cardigan on and called it an outfit! I plugged the address of the restaurant into my GPS and headed out.

Dinner Commute:

I figured I may need to get some cash out. (Time out: In the recent months, I have become a person that feels like they always need to have cash on them, like I am turning in to my grandfather. Hello? Debit/Credit cards are mainstream- this is 2010, ok, TIME IN.) I went to the bank, withdrew the cash. Drove away. Felt like I left the ATM before I was cleared out, meaning people could access my account. (Time out: My debit card was in my hand, so access to my account would have been impossible, TIME IN.) So I drove the wrong way in the bank parking lot, circled the lanes like a vulture, and re-drove through the ATM, to of course, find out the ATM was blinking WELCOME... to the NEXT customer.

Anyway, I arrive at the restaurant. I circle the restaurant (One-way streets, you understand) and park on the street in front. I get out and see the birthday girl, Donielle, and her boyfriend, Lee.

Dinner:

My outfit is lame. Donielle is wearing this magenta dress with purple heels- HOTNESS. Me = lame teacher...whatever.

I am seated at the table next to some other work friends... and about 20 minutes into dinner, Donielle says: "Kim- do you see that guy over there by the door?"

Me: "Who?"

Donielle: "See him, the guy that came over here and talked to me and Lee?"

Me: "The Bouncer?"

Donielle: "Yeah."

Me: "Yes"

Donielle: "He's Lee's friend. He came over and asked who the new white girl is..."

Me: (I look to my left and to my right, and THEN realized I was one of two white people at the party of 20. The only other white person was my friend Amorita, but they all knew her, because she has two biracial children... she was familiar.) "Oh.. um, really? Maybe he was talking about Amorita?.."

Donielle: "Nah girl, he was looking at you." (She then takes her hand, points her index and middle finger into her eyes, whips them around, and points them at me.) "You."

Me: Laughter. The kind where you feel like you don't know what else to do, but you are well aware that laughter is not an appropriate response either...

I spend the rest of the dinner chatting it up and having an awesome time. The group gets ready to head to the next destination: Oak City. Its a bar/lounge/dance floor. I am convinced to go with the group.

Commute to Oak City:

I put the address in my GPS as 501 American Blvd. It is actually 5001 American Blvd. That extra zero makes a huge difference...... I made it eventually.

Oak City:

I find the group of people, we find a table, and my friend Jennifer and I go to the bar to get a drink. Jennifer is a pro- so she gets our drink orders in right away at this packed bar. At this point, I am standing right behind Jennifer, who is next to the bar. Within a second after placing our order, there is this guy, GRINDING, on my right hip.... despite my teacher outfit. I turn and try to push him back a little bit, saying, "Hi....."

Guy: (severely impaired) "Hiiiii"

Me: "Umm, Hi"

Guy: "What are you drinking/"

Me: "Oh, I don't know, ummm, JENNIFER (tugging on her arm), what did I order?"

Jennifer: "Lemon-drop"

Me: "Lemon-drop"

Guy: "What's she drinking- drinks are on me! Guess what I do for a living?"

Me: (really.. this is your pick-up?) "Oh, I don't know... "

Guy: "GUESSSSSS"

Me: "Oh, who knows... Banker?"

Guy: "NOOOOOO. I just got back from Afghanistan. I am in the ARMMY." (His severe drunken state suddenly makes sense)

Me: "Oh awesome! Congrats on being home!"

OUT OF NOWHERE, he takes a hand full of change, and dumps it down my dress. Before I can even warn Jennifer, she turns around, and he dumps change into her dress. We bust out laughing... b/c what else are you supposed to do? As we pick up our drinks to walk back to our table, coins ting ting ting to the floor.. the entire NIGHT. The guy hangs around our table like the plague, and dances like Ramone, the stripper/caterer/officiant/store owner from the Proposal.

... Seriously. That all happened.. in one night. OH, and as I walked out of Oak City, a dime fell out of my dress. Do you want to talk about it?