Epic Fail: Hot Tea

So, as we all are beginning to realize, it is September. What we all might not realize is that in Minnesota, September is the beginning of everyone get sick and be miserable. So on Wednesday and Thursday, I was attempting to head off a sore throat/cold by drinking some hot tea. On Thursday afternoon, I grab my friend Jennifer, and we head to our floor's break room. I start making my tea. I have it relatively easy, because we have a coffee maker with an instant hot water button. I fill up my cup, and start to head to the door. It is about 1:15pm... the end of the lunch rush in the break room. Jennifer is looking at the vending machine, getting a soda for Will (our co-worker) and herself.

(TIME OUT: Now, there is something you need to know. I am afraid of most bugs.. and my fear borders on pathetic, but I don't hold a candle to Jennifer. Jennifer loses all rational thought and natural ability when she sees ANY sort of bug. Period. Oh, this is the same Jennifer that got change put down her dress with me at my friend Donielle's b.day party... see earlier post. TIME IN)

Ok, so Jennifer gets one soda and I see a spider on the floor. Crawling. Right by me and Jennifer. I panicked.

I gently grabbed Jennifer by the shoulders and said, "Jennifer. Don't look down." Of course, she immediately looks down. "What is it? What? OMG IT IS A SPIDER. OMG." She starts yelling. Like, actually yelling. For those of you who know me well, when I am uncomfortable, I generally do one thing whether appropriate or not: Laugh. Laughing commences.

Somehow, we get backed into the corner near the exit of the break room. Jennifer drops her change that was supposed to buy the second soda. In the process of dropping her $0.60, she dumps the entire coin contents of her wallet on the floor. I squat down to pick it up. I am laughing so hard, no noise is coming out of my mouth. I start drooling. Actually drooling. I can't shut my mouth.

"RAVEN, KILL IT. KILL THE SPIDER," Jennifer yells at a co-worker. He looks at us like we have lost our mind, and steps on the spider.

I am still drooling. Laughing and drooling. Drool actually dripped from my knee alllll the way down to my ankle. Seriously.

Raven kills the bug, and we get it together and head back to our desk. We start telling Will what we went through, and we get mid-way through the story, and I knock the entire cup of scalding, hot tea on my shirt/pants/desk/floor. Will of course sees this, and falls over laughing. I am burned, pissed, and soaking wet. My co-worker Chris helps me clean up my desk/floor/chair/papers/life, and we get settled in to work.

My throat is still sore. So what do I do? Ask Chris to escort me and Jennifer back to the break room. Why? Because Jennifer NEVER got her own soda, just Will's. And as previously discussed, my cup of tea is gone.

We get to the break room. I get a new tea bag, cup, and go to the water button. At this point, I am so incredibly flustered, I push the 'Full Brew' button instead of 'Hot Water.' Instantaneously, coffee starts pouring out of the machine on to the counter. The carafe isn't in position, so coffee is spilling everywhere. I panic, and put my teeeny tiny tea cup up to catch the carafe portion of coffee. Jennifer has completely lost it. She has to leave, because we are sure we are going to be fired. Chris or Jennifer quickly realizes we have to turn the machine off to get it to stop. The machine is off, and water continues to drip, drip, drip for an eternity.

FINALLY, I throw the second cup of tea away, and you know what? The third time is a charm. BAM, got my tea, and finished the day.